Diamond and Silver Anniversaries Remembered

“Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without.” ~ James C. Dobson

 Stella_Ray AnnivYesterday would have been my parents 75th Wedding Anniversary.  Years pass in the blink of an eye.  From what I understand, the ceremony was small and modest but charming just the same.  I decided to get married the day after their wedding date, 25 years ago.  The date had special meaning to me and each year I become more aware of the similarities between the two marriages.  Sadly, my mom had passed some years prior to my wedding; however I was grateful to have had my father escort me down the aisle.

 

Ray_Stella 1940sIt’s unfortunate I have no photos of their wedding day although I remember spotting what was rumored to be my mom’s wedding dress in an old cedar Hope Chest.  The dress appeared to be about a size 0 or 2 by today’s standards and was a stunning yet casual, pastel periwinkle blue, my mother’s favorite color.  Truth be known (and it will be now), I tried it on when I was in my late teens or early twenties and tore some of the seam stitching; I was obviously a little larger than a size 2!  I still wonder what ever became of that dress…  (Notice the difference in my dad’s hair in 25 yrs?  From a “bush” to “barely there!”  LOL)

With 5 brothers and sisters, it’s also baffling that no one can recall where the boxes of photo albums and black and white snapshots stored with the cedar chest disappeared to.  As a child, I used to flip through the photos, giggling at how funny the styles looked “back then.”  I’ll keep my fingers crossed and say a prayer that someday they’ll materialize before I’m too old to see them clearly!

M_C Wedding fullM_C Wedding ringM_C Wedding Dad 

My 25th Anniversary began with a mammogram and bone density screening.  That was so much fun!  Not.  Actually, I planned to have the tests done on this date so it would be easier for me to recall when I had them for future reference.  So far, the remainder of the day is up in the air.  Maybe the man I considered my “Prince Charming” a quarter century ago will have a surprise in store.  We’ll have to wait and see.

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Sunrise, Sunset, Swiftly Fly the Years

It’s a beautiful moment when you see a sweet little girl blossom into a beautiful young woman.  This afternoon, I attended the bridal shower of my best friend’s daughter and realized that time passes much too quickly as we grow older.  Each day should be treasured for what it is. 

Twenty something years ago, I visited with my friend and her little girls at their new home.  Here we were, two best friends, reminiscing about our “younger days” and all the fun we had as single women and now, we were wives with families.  Did those labels define us?  Our previous conversations were filled with discussions of what we were wearing when we ventured into New York City on a Saturday evening, and now we were talking about our favorite dinner recipes or how to take care of a child’s fever. 

We used to be called “hot women” and now we were being labeled “wives” or “mothers.”  What happened?  Did we suddenly become “cold” now that we merged with a life partner?  Were we no longer attractive to the opposite sex just because we had a ring on our finger or pushed a stroller?

What happened is that we no longer defined ourselves as anything besides being part of someone else’s life; whether a spouse or a child.  It was our fault.  We soon learned that deep down inside it was perfectly fine to still think of ourselves as hot young women AND married women.  Our dreams, spirits and ambitions were the same back then and haven’t changed to this day.  The only difference now is that all the love we shared, tears we cried and challenges we conquered over the years now appear on our faces like stars in a summer sky.

My friend’s daughter has grown into an intelligent, lovely, caring young woman.  Her fiancé is kind-hearted, friendly, loving young man.  They complement each other, not define each other.  Each is perfectly able to stand on their own yet together they create a bond that is solid and genuine.  As individuals and as a couple, I wish them all the treasures one lifetime can hold and the strength to endure any adversities that may cross their paths.  “

“I think a man and a woman should choose each other for life, for the simple reason that a long life with all its accidents is barely enough time for a man and a woman to understand each other and. . . to understand – is to love.” ~ William Butler Yeats

“The spaces between your fingers were created so that another’s could fill them in.” ~ Anonymous ~