Seek and You Shall Find – But Should We?

 Have you ever wondered what happened to a certain high school friend you’ve lost touch with or the person you had a relationship with for more than 5 months or that neighborhood kid you used to hang around with?  I have.  On occasion, usually when I’m cleaning up paperwork or going through old photos and memorabilia, I’ll come across something that reminds me of a particular person who I shared something special with years ago.  More often than not, it’s a pleasant recollection; other times, memories are a little painful for me to want to recall.

  I can be a glutton for punishment though.  Maybe it’s just my curiosity that gets the better of me.  My mind starts to wander and that’s it; I’m off to the races, checking every website I can think of trying to find out what’s happened to this person since I last saw them.  Lo and behold, I’ve been able to locate someone recently who played a very prominent role in the story of my life.  I had to answer the million dollar question for myself; do I really want to dig up the past and if so, why?

  I was involved with this person for eleven years.  Nine or ten of those years were difficult.  Although we each played a role in what inevitably transpired, the facts be known, I was the victim.  After we parted, I moved on and so did they.  That was over twenty years ago.  Why would I want to revive unpleasant memories?  Because, I was quietly hoping they were miserable after we parted.  I am being totally blunt.  I’ve read enough psychology books to realize we’re often most vulnerable even a little bitter when something in our lives is not quite right.

 Don’t get me wrong; I love my life.  Even though things can get a little crazy at times, I maintain a positive attitude on a daily basis, by sheer determination.  If I feel a bit of melancholy heading my way, I recognize it for what it is and carry on.  Now for the good part; I didn’t take my curiosity to the extreme.  Although part of me wanted to drive back and forth past this individual’s house until someone came out (then what would I do?), I settled for catching a glimpse of it on the internet and discovered it’s pretty nice; much nicer than I hoped it would be.  Oh well.  Now that I satisfied my inquiring mind, I can continue moving in the direction I was meant to go, onward and upward!  That particular relationship just wasn’t meant to be but I did learn some valuable lessons from it.

  It feels pretty good to let that go; like unpacking a piece of baggage from my past.  The only problem is now that I’ve discovered how relatively simple it is to find someone, I realize almost anyone can find me too!  I’m not overly concerned.  I’ve had the good fortune of meeting some wonderful people throughout my life and with very few exceptions, I would welcome a greeting from almost any of them.  While I may not want to live in my past, I wouldn’t mind visiting it every now and again.  Thankfully, curiosity didn’t kill this kitten!

“I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way.”  ~Franklin P. Adams