Jack of All Trades, Master of … Few?

Waking to a blanket of fog engulfing the cul-de-sac this morning was not exactly motivating; however, I managed a good breakfast, some exercise, taking care of kitties and checking e-mail, eager to begin my day.  While preparing breakfast, I had to acquiesce; I’m just not proficient at some of life’s little skills.  Then again, neither is Martha Stewart; how disappointing.

For your amusement, I’ve created a list of some common endeavors which seem to evade the OCD in me.   Can you identify with any?

Sectioning grapefruit   -By the time I’m finished, it looks like something the cat hacked up.

WordPress, Pinterest   –Still trying to get the knack of these sites.  And I joined Pinterest because?  Certainly not because I enjoy spending countless hours looking at dog and cat photos, although I’ll have to admit, they are adorable!

Fixing hair   –I’m blessed with a full head of hair; however, it takes at least 40 minutes to blow dry and style and that’s just to get it looking neat.  Putting it up, braiding, clips, etc., I’m all thumbs.

Water-skiing   –Not in this lifetime.  Why can’t you just start in a standing position?

Making homemade pasta  -Damn eggs keep sliding over the flour well!

Electrical wiring – Amps, volts, ohms, watts, neutral/ground, breaker/fuse, pigtail, busbar, gang, splice, Yikes!

Planting tulip bulbs  –Wondered why the stem was so short; guess I should have planted the root side down???

Pruning trees/shrubs  –What pruning, just chainsaw the hell out of them!

Making Pot Roast  –Nothing beats my sister Kathy’s pot roast; but I can make a kick-ass chili!

Clipping cats’ nails   -Not unless they’re dazed and confused first.

Using an iPod  –My daughter donated her old ones to me…haven’t used one yet.  What’s wrong with the radio?

Source code  –Per Wikipedia, “…any collection of computer instructions (possibly with comments) written using some human-readable computer language …” Human computers or computer humans?

Zumba   -Another reason to wriggle, writhe, bump and bounce and pull my back out!

Photography/Videography  –So many buttons, so many accessories, so little time to understand what they all do.

Sewing tulle  –I’d rather get a root canal.  Needle gets caught in holes all the same.

Angry Birds  – Have no clue what this is, how to play, never owned a Wii or Xbox, etc. but I used to play a mean game of PacMan…waccka, waccka!

Bra shopping   –Natural breasts slope; so why make rubberized bras that look like they’ll cover torpedoes?

Choosing between a comma and semicolon -MS Word keeps highlighting my commas, wanting me to use semicolons when they should be used for emphasis, no?; yes.  Arrggg.

Skimcoating   -There has to be an easier, faster, less dusty way to make a wall smooth.

Competing with my sisters in Scrabble   -I’m the youngest and they cheat…enough said.

Surviving the NY Times Sunday Crossword with my brother I’m the youngest and he’s the oldest…and he doesn’t cheat; he’s just too smart for me!

Hope you enjoyed my bit of joviality for the day.   Peace – Out ;D

“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” ~ Thomas Edison

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4 thoughts on “Jack of All Trades, Master of … Few?

  1. hi Mary! Keep those blogs coming! They’re well written and presented and lots of fun to read! I can help you with two of the things on your list: angry birds and comma or semi-colon. Angry Birds is a video game by Rovio and is published by Chillingo. They have advanced games like the space version, the star wars version, and one called seasons. I just play the regular HD angry birds. That version has about 8 different little games, all with the same objective: to kill the little piggies. Why? Because the little piggies steal the bird’s eggs, and that makes them angry birds! Of the 8 little games in the version I play, I like #6 “mine and dine” and #7 “birthday party.” Basically, you get a certain number of birds, anywhere from 3-5, and you launch them, one at a time, by using your finger to pull back on a slingshot. The targets in game 6 are a bunch of piggie miners situated in various locations inside the mine. You have to strategically strike where it will do the most damage and take out the most piggies. If you’ve launched all your birds, you can call upon the mighty eagle. He comes down to destroy the place and whatever’s left. At the end of the game, you get a score. If you don’t like the score, you can hit replay. Actually, you can hit replay after each turn if you want. I’m sure there’s more to the game, but this seems to be enough for me.

    As for the colon and comma/semi-colon issue, consider a few sentences from above.

    “That version has about 8 little games, all with the same objective: to kill the little piggies.” (Here, the colon is used instead of the word namely. In other words, the end of the sentence can be written this way: “all with the same objective, namely, to kill the little piggies.” The colon can also substitute for phrases like “such as,” “for example,” and “for instance.”

    Now, madam, commas are used to separate series of things. I saw a cat, a dog, and a llama on my lawn! (There are three things in this series: a cat, a dog, and a llama. They each share the same subject, “I,” and they each share the same verb, “saw.” And the sentence also has parallel structure because each noun in the series is introduced in the same way: a cat, a dog, a llama).

    What would happen in a compound sentence that had two subjects and two verbs like this one? I saw a cat, a dog, and a llama on my lawn; Tommy caught the dog, but the cat and the llama got away. In two sentences that are closely related, like the two above, you can use a semi-colon to separate them. They are independent of each other and each has its own subject and verb: “I saw” and “Tommy caught.”

    These two sentences could also be separated by a period. I saw a cat, a dog, and a llama on my lawn. Tommy caught the dog, but the cat got away.

    Or they can be joined by a conjunction like “and” or “but.” I saw a cat, a dog, and a llama on my lawn and Tommy caught the dog, but the cat and the llama got away.

    Commas, aside from being used in a series are also used to add on dependent clauses: extra information that adds to the sentence. These are called complex sentences. here’s an example. I like oven baked hashed brown potatoes, the ones that get all oily and crinkly. If you look at this string of words, the first half forms a complete sentence (subject and verb). The second half is just add on or filler to describe the kind of hashed brown potatoes I like.

    You can also create a compound-complex sentence by using commas and/or conjunctions and sometimes semi-colons and colons too.

    Example:

    Tom and Rania, the girl from Egypt, saw that scary movie, the one with the haunted house, and Rania got so scared that she clung to Tom all throughout the show, but afterwards, when they went for ice cream, she felt much better although later on when she was home alone she got scared again!

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